In Today's Adventure - DART

Our fearless she-ro (someone I know HATES that word! tee hee) expands her urban living experience into her work commute. We find her anxiously awaiting part 1 of the 2 bus ride to work. After equipping her "please leave me alone" smile-shield in an effort to defeat the villainous cat-callers, she gingerly steps onto the bus trying to look cool, like she does this all the time. But then her secret identity is quickly uncovered when the bus driver loudly informs her that she is sticking her bus pass in the wrong device reader. DRAT, FOILED AGAIN!  Scoping out her fellow commuters, she evaluates future weapons to aide her in her adventures. "Shall I spend all the money I'm going to save by riding the bus, and buy a Kindle to entertain myself? Should I invest in good headphones like the lady whose bright red Princess Leia-worthy musical ear cuffs just scream, "I do NOT want to be bothered with y'all today!". Such advanced weaponry to fight off the commuter fiends! Much to be considered...

 

~Next Page~

Next we find our heroine has safely arrived at the transit center. Part 1 is over. But unfortunately she embarrasses herself further (although she played it off really well) when she walked past the bus hub even though she'd already scoped it out the night before. Donning her, "I meant to do that" deflector hair flip, she turns around and plops on an empty bench realizing her part 2 bus that was to leave at 8:07 had indeed just left at 8:07. DOUBLE DRAT! But wait, what's that in the distance? Huzzah! Our heroine sees arriving over the concrete horizon, the next bus! What luck....our adventure continues.

 

~Lsst Page~

The rest of the way to work, her resumed incognito "I do this all the time" disguise remains intact. JUST THEN, she exits the bus and walks across the parking lot. Now realizing that the most harrowing leg of her commute is managing to get inside the building, she makes one fatal turn and walks through a cloud of toxic smokers behind the back of the building. COUGH! COUGH! Has her journey ended after she's come so far?! COUGH! COUGH! Will the Pottery Barn doors open in time for her to escape the fumes?? Has everything come to an end??? Oh no!

Tune in tomorrow to find out if our heroine actually made it to work! And what happens to her when she DUN DUN DUN tries to take the bus back home again! ... DUN DUN!

 

This is definitely one of THOSE mornings

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...Rounding the corner I didn't notice the Michael Kors display. The valet guys faded into the background and the only thoughts running through my mind were "Wow I feel like a brat! Skipping around appreciating mochas, you should try to help him!..Does he even want a breakfast taco? While you're contemplating turning back he's probably thinking up a sneak attack right now...where's your pepper spray?...Venita stop it, he's not going to attack you he's just hungry."

I stop, feel bad, keep walking, stop again, but keep walking and look at my feet as I slowly drag them up the entry steps. I quickly avoid the front desk guy's eyes because I just KNOW he KNOWS I didn't give the homeless guy a breakfast taco, get in the elevator and let each beep of the floor tell me how terrible I am (26 beeps). Back at home, I sit on the couch close my eyes and ponder- I used to be more carelessly brave about sharing my God with other people. I used to not let fear keep me from giving a hungry man something to eat. I wish I could write that I bounded off the couch, rushed back to the cafe and ordered another taco and with stern concentration did not rest until I sought out that homeless man to give it to him. Instead I sat on my couch, blogged to you guys about it, told God "thanks" for all my blessings, and realize that He is the one who did a sneak attack on me. Not to invoke guilt, but to smile on me and make me think about the things that really matter. So I will probably spend the rest of today thinking about where I could be giving back the things I enjoy the most about Him; whether it's His love, His resources, or His gifts. This is definitely one of THOSE mornings.

One of THOSE Mornings! Yippee!

This morning is one of those mornings I don't feel rushed. I savor these mornings. I woke up when my eyes decided to open not because an alarm beat me into submission. I try to remember what the heck I was just dreaming about, give up, turn over a few more times, then waddle around assessing what kind of day this is going to be. And with delight I realized, it's going to be one of THOSE mornings! Yippee! That means I can brush my teeth (barely), shake my hair out, rub the sleep out of my eyes, decide "do I really want to put on make-up today?" NAH...throw on some clothes and walk to the cafe a block away. It's one of those mornings when I can say it's just going to be me and God today, hanging out, enjoying each other...

It feels like everything is slower. Even skipping down the entry stairs and waving good morning to the front desk guy seems peaceful. Even keeping my finger on my pepper spray trigger as I rounded the corner almost didn't seem as necessary...almost (I mean come on, peaceful but not unaware!).

Rounding the corner means getting to check out the new Michael Kors window display at Neiman Marcus along the way... "I could pull that off!" or "That color is just too bright for me", but "oooh that is so chic!" It was a "Breakfast at Tiffanys" kind of moment. Admiring the hotel valet guys as they run back and forth to the parking garage, looking at the sun bring out the architectural details of the buildings above me and hearing the "swish swish" of my flip flops down the sidewalk washed away the random thoughts that are usually running through my head.

Arriving at the cafe, Patrick proudly tells me he's been perfecting my white chocolate mocha. So as I sit there and watch him, with stern concentration, fluff up the milk foam and add another squirt of chocolate, I again savor, AHHHH it's one of THOSE mornings. Skillfully avoiding Patrick's flirting, grabbing my "no meat please" breakfast taco and already cooled to sipping perfection mocha, I walk back enjoying the warm happiness now sitting in my stomach.

On the way back I see a man looking for his "white chocolate mocha and breakfast taco" in the corner trash can. We make eye contact, he wishes me good morning and I wish him good morning back. Suddenly I'm that much more appreciative of having one of THOSE mornings.

Starting From Scratch

So guess what? My laptop died...AGAIN!! I just got it back today. I'm beginning to wonder if my old laptop got jealous and put a hex on my new one...c'est la vie

In the meantime I've been keeping pretty busy. Although I did experience a couple of totally boring evenings, I think I've done more in the past few weeks than I'd done all year. In fact, I should probably slow it down a bit. Neither my budget nor my stamina appreciates the vigor. Some days have been lower than low. Others have been...strange. And others yet have been pure joy. All in all, it's been interesting.

But tonight my mind is on deeper things than keeping my social calendar full. Tonight I'm pondering what I truly want to do with my life. I'd written before that if on my death bed I look back and know that I tried all the things that interest me, I would feel I'd lead a satisfying life. But today I have a feeling that there's more to my existence than that. For example, my very good friend is a wonder. She's a fabulous single mom, 15 weeks away from getting her Masters, mentors young women and actually has something called "career goals". Her life is very well rounded. And not to compare, but my life is kinda pointy, very uneven and I feel I'm very much behind the curve. Surely I could be doing more...not more quantity, but more quality.

Three years ago I felt my life had a clear plan and purpose. I'd set my goals, worked towards them and felt like I was on the right track. But lately I've been reevaluating the track. A lot of my time, tears, and energy were spent chasing the desire to be a good wife and mom. Correction, my goal was to be an excellent wife and mom. Motivated by that desire, I too seemed a wonder. I was going places with a lot to offer. But now because of life-changes, I have an opportunity to consider why I was on that track to begin with. What if I don't want to have kids someday? That kinda unravels a lot of work I'd put into the past 10 years of my life. This moment is surreal. It's like living in a house for many years- well appointed, maybe a few signs of wear and tear, but familiar. Then suddenly, you open a door and find your foot dangling into an empty world of white walls. And that's when it hits you- "Damn, I'm starting from scratch."

What kind of design do I want the rest of my life to reflect? Is it traditional? Modern? or Eclectic? Do I want to go for the minimalist feel or comfy casual? Do I even want to share it with any "significant" other (grown up or miniature)? It's all a very daunting thing. Sometimes I'm told by those whose gaze drifts away into the distance as though envisioning their own empty world of white, how brave and fantastic a blank slate would be. The mixture of pain and longing in their eyes makes me wince and appreciate my opportunity. But sometimes I look into the eyes of those who are settled in, like my friend. Most of their boxes and baggage are unpacked and they're very comfortable living their lives. Then my gaze drifts back to the well-appointed house I'd worked so hard to establish and there's pain and longing in my own eyes.

Nevertheless, here I am. I need to spend some time really figuring out if I need to tear down some walls, redesign and go for a totally different space. Or if I just need to move into a new place and rebuild on the same framework. So the walls aren't exactly blank. They've just been painted over. However, starting over doesn't come with the luxury of primer! There's still some remnant of the life I'd planned for myself. I have to be true to that. But I'm hoping that whatever design I finally settle on, I can live with it. At least for a little while...