25 Things I Learned at the Texas State Fair

1) Banana Praline Waffles, 2 slices of Cheese Pizza, and 2 Midway Rides before 10:30AM do not mix well.
2) Lessons overheard from Father to Son- "Ya bett'r eat all yer food Jr. That's what the fair is 'bout. Don't you know when you leave they ask ya how many corny dogs and cotton candy ya ate and if ya didn't eat 'nough they make you go back?!" Kid didn't buy it.
3) Hot Buttered Corn drippings will spill all over your pants not matter how many napkins you have.
4) Birds at the bird show have everyone trained to believe they are trained.
5) Parrots will not sing Yankee Doodle if they don't feel like it. Yes, no matter how much you smile at them.
6) The Bald Eagle is no longer on the endangered species list. Which is a good thing since, ya know, it's just our Nation's Symbol and all.
7) There actually is a guy with a microphone headset selling Sham Wow.
8) A tiny little woman with fake eyelashes can make beautiful extraordinarily detailed embroidered pictures.
9) Dogs will freestyle dance with old ladies if the beat is right.
10) Suburbans will migrate to the train stop if it means not paying for parking.
11) The last train leaves at 8:37pm. Suburbans do not know that.
12) If you want Monarch butterflies to come into your garden, plant Milkweed because it's a host plant for Monarchs.
13) The Monarch butterfly chrysalis has a gilded edge along the top and no one knows why.
14) Male Monarch butterflies have a tiny little spot on the back of their wings.
15) All Monarch butterflies fly to the same tree in Mexico every year.
16) There's a guy at the Texas Discovery Gardens who is really passionate about Monarch butterflies.
17) People believe that when "the three hunters" finally catch up with Ursa Major "the big bear" constellation that the fat from their cooking pot and the blood from the bear's wounds pours from the sky and turns the Autumn leaves red and gold.
18) The Planetarium eerily still looks exactly the same as when I went there in elementary school.
19) Butter can be carved into an intricate Western Saloon motif complete with life-size people and a dog.
20) In 60 degree weather, a man will dive into a 10 foot pool of water from a diving platform 80 feet in the air.
21) A man who dives into a 10 foot pool of water from a diving platform 80 feet in the air will be bright red and shivering when he climbs out the pool.
22) Ford Robots can see you and crack jokes about your poncho.
23) Pigs really can fly...at least when there's an oreo cookie at the other end of the track at stake.
24) People, even Oprah, will stand in line (or in Oprah's case, have people stand in line) for Fried __________ (Fill in the Blank).
25) You will inevitably find 2 tickets at the bottom of your purse AFTER you leave the Fair.