JUST NAKED

...okay, so I wasn't going to say anything about it, but I want to share! And since it's been 4 months (YIKES!) since I've written on my blog, and considering the season of my life I'm in, this would be a perfect occasion and topic to write about.

Yesterday I went to a Korean Spa/Sauna bath house for my friend's birthday. When I first found out the bath house part of it was communal and buck-naked, I was completely freaked out. I do NOT do communal, especially buck-naked.

Before we went, over dinner we laughed and joked about our insecurities, Ciara's legs, our perceptions of our own bodies and how others would view us. We debated our comfort of nakedness in front of strangers versus friends. Some women were comfortable with the idea. Others, like me, were in dread of it. It was an enlightening discussion. But even as dinner came to a close and the next step was going to the spa, the question stayed with me- was I actually going to *gulp* get naked, or not?

Now just to pause and clarify, it's not like at home I turn off the lights to get undressed or something. It was just the thought of being naked in front of people. You're exposed in the most private of private. There's a vulnerability of showing yourself in any aspect of life, not just your body. And over time I've cultivated the skill of hiding those vulnerabilities well. From the beginning of time we've run to cover our "shame". It's unsettling to know someone else is going to see what you see. And here I was marching off to uncover it!

So as we approached the steps of the spa, I took a deep breath, gripped my toiletry bag tight and was still not prepared for NAKED CITY EVERYWHERE as soon as we walked into the locker room. Naked to my left (DIVERT EYES!). Naked to my right (LOOK DOWN!). Naked at 6 o'clock (OH GOD I DID NOT WANT TO SEE THAT!).

Refuge in locker #99 didn't last long. A uniformed lady informed us to "Take off all clothes now. Panties bra everything. Take shower." What? Now? Here? In front of EVERYONE? The birthday girl was on team "Who cares? This is not bothering me". Me and another girl were on team "Fraidy cat". But there was no turning back. The Naked Now lady wasn't playing. There was nothing more to do then to strip down and "take shower".

We gingerly undressed, sheepishly looking but not looking at each other with "help me" in our eyes. When suddenly, genius hit me. I know, I'll hide behind a towel! My plan was great until I saw the towels were the size of a dish rag...no wait, two dish rags. That would take care of one side but not the other. It was the moment of truth. There was nothing left to do. I held my head up high, chose the front, gripped my towel, and with my behind breezy in the wind, walked to the showers. I was scared but giddy at the same time!

However, easing into the bath did not ease my discomfort until the strangest thing happened. Another lady wearing only a towel turban and a smile says to the other member of Fraidy Cat, "Is this your first time?" She replied, "yes". NAKED lady said "It shows on your face!", then did the most bizarre, gracious, awkward, wonderful thing. She came over NAKED, shook our hands NAKED, and introduced herself NAKED. But suddenly she eased my fears. We just sat around and talked. And as we shared our experiences the NAKED and the stress melted away. I didn't feel NAKED anymore. I was just me.

We went on to enjoy the rest of the treatments meant to tighten our skin, improve our circulatory systems, and detox our bodies, but as I reflect over the night what impressed me the most was the benefit I gained in being free. As women we're set up to compete over or be ashamed of our bodies. But when I looked around (even though I wasn't looking!) and saw women of different sizes, shapes, figures, degrees of cellulite, and levels of plump or non-plumpness it brought a smile to my face. For once we just were; we were just women chilling in 102 degree water.

And even today I didn't think about the ways I need to hide my so-called imperfections. I just smiled and thought about all the other bumpy butts who had a sanctuary for one night. No one to judge. No where to hide. JUST NAKED in every way. I hope to live the rest of my life like that.